Guest Blogger #1: Happiness is a Mood, Not a Destination

Yay my very first guest blogger, I am so excited!  First up is Danielle from my favorite blog Happiness is a Mood, Not a Destination.  I love reading her blog post.  I found her blog right when her love left for his first deployment.  The deployment is coming to an end very soon, and I am thankful I have been on this journey with her...I am so proud that she has made it through it and I have been inspired by her journey and her positive attitude through the entire thing.  I have been through 2 deployments with my Marine so I know how she feels about all of it.  It is so nice to be able to relate to someone in a way most people have no clue about.  I enjoyed reading her post on her first deployment and I hope yall to also.  Oh and dont forget to keep coming back, I have a few more wonderful blog post coming at you this week.  Have a great day yall!

Hi! I’m Danielle. A Navy Girlfriend and so close to being a Deployment Survivor! Thank you Stephanie for inviting me to guest blog for you! I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about. I went over a few topics but I decided to stick to what I know best at this time in my life and that is Deployment. With my Boyfriend’s 1^stdeployment coming to an end in just over a month, I have been thinking a lot about the past 5 months and what I have learned.

When my love and I first started officially dating (even though we had known each other our entire lives) we knew that his Deployment was just around the corner. It was the topic of a lot of conversations. It was hard to take things slow with our relationship, knowing it won’t be long until he was gone. Still, we did our best. We were long distance from the first time we kissed. I lived in Chicago at the time and he was stationed in Virginia. He would come and visit and we would meet in West Virginia where we were both from originally. We spent as much time as we could together.

We forced a lot of relationship milestones sooner than I would have liked. But that’s how it goes in the military right? Everything is skyrocketed. Everything moves faster. When his deployment date finally came, I felt ok. I felt like we had built a strong enough relationship to survive it…even though we didn’t have much time for building. The first thing I had to learn in just the first few weeks of him being gone was patience. Up until the day he left I controlled when we talked and for how long and how often. I would call him….he rarely had to call me. Then, all of a sudden, I lost all control. I was at the mercy of when he wanted to talk to me or when he COULD talk to me. It drove me crazy. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t calling and when he did he just didn’t seem like himself.  It didn’t take me long to realize that the only thing I could do was hold on to my phone and wait until he could call. Patience. It was tough. I am not the most patient person in the world. Night time was the hardest. I was used to talking to him until I fell asleep. Now, I had to fall asleep on my own. I had to learn to relax and be patient because when I least expected it…my phone would ring.

            Independence. I have always had an independent type personality. I like to be on my own. I like to take care of myself. I also have always had a tendency to lean too much on my boyfriends. So, this deployment was not easy! I like having him close. I like having him there to check on my car when it’s making a funny noise. I need him there to kill the child size bug in my room! But, thanks to deployment…I was on my own. I worry sometimes how I will be able to make him feel like I need him when he is home…because I do. I just can do it on my own now…I proved that to myself. Even though I have a boyfriend, It feels like “single life” when he is gone. I just hope I can snap back into “boyfriend life” when he gets home.

            Finally, I think the biggest and most important thing I have learned through this deployment is that I am stronger than I thought. I was terrified of these 6 months. I didn’t think I could do it. I still have days like that even 5 months in. But I have seen and learned that I CAN do it. I can get through anything now. I am strong. I was strong for me and I was strong for my love. Our relationship is stronger. I know that for a fact. I have changed. He has changed. And even though we were a billion miles away for so long…we changed together.

            The past 5 months have been the hardest of my life. This deployment has tested me time and time again. I am proud to say I will come out on top. I will survive and I will have my love by my side before I know it. I have to send out a thank you to all my bloggy loves. This community has gotten me through. I am so thankful for all the ladies out there that have been there for me through this tough time. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your advice.

            To those of you getting ready for a deployment or dealing with one now…YOU CAN DO IT! You may not think you can but you CAN. You are STRONGER than you think!!