I hate this

This week hasnt been the best.  I have hardly got to talk to Justin, and the bad thing is...its his choice to not respond to my text messages, when we do actually get to talk we dont talk but a couple mins.  It has gotten really frustrating.  I kept asking him if ive done something wrong, or to make him mad because I can hear in his voice that something is wrong.  This has been going on since Saturday.

Well like I said before he is doing this RDFD thing.  He is 4 hours on post and 8 either on REACT or BAF.  Its been ok so far, just hate it for him.  This week he has been on post from 8-12 am and pm so it is crazy hours when we get to talk, so we hardly get to talk anyways.  Well talking him tonight I asked him what was going on, I have been scared o death these past few days that he was going to end things, just by the way he was acting, well instead of the usual "nothing" he actually told me that he has been so pissed about this whole thing.  They have been trying to work out a better schedule instead on him being on for 20 days straight when other guys only stand post for 12 hours and then go home and sleep in their own beds at night.  The whole thing is kinda not fair just because of how some of the teams schedules are.  Some are just 12 hrs a day on post, others are 3 days on and 3 days off, and then you have the other unlucky teams like Justin's who are 6 days on and 1 1/2 days off.  They also have to do this TSO thing which is 8 days long, so that means Justin would go 6 days on post, then 8 days TSO, then 6 more days on post with no days off in between that.  That is really not fair.  It sucks because they have been trying to work out a better schedule but the Captain shoots it down before they can even present it to him.  Its a bunch of bull really.  He told me that the reason he hasnt talked to me that much is because he has just been so pissed and he didnt wanna say something that he didnt mean and hurt me.

I hate this, I hate that he is pissed all the time now. I dont want this to come between us.  I just wish I could be there to give him a hug and hold him.  I really hope things get better with this.  I mean 20 days is really ridiculous, they deserve some time off between the TSO and post at least.  He told me that he would rather do 5 months again in Cuba, than standing there at the shipyard, and that is saying a lot when he would rather be deployed again.  I have been feeling so sick these past few days, I just wish he would have talked to me about this earlier.  I mean it sucked so bad when I had to come out and ask him if he still wanted to be with me....ugh it sucks.  At least he did apologize and tell me he does love me and he isnt mad at me, its this whole situation.  And I hate its gonna go on til August.  Hopefully the Captain will approve this new schedule since the Sgt did.  Cross your fingers with me, I really dont wanna deal with a pissy boyfriend for the next 4 months or so.

This was kinda a vent post and im sorry, I just feel so bad for Justin and I pray everything works out.  Yall say a little prayer for him please, I dont want this crap to come between us when we currently survived a 7 1/2 month deployment.  I really cant say thank you enough for all you wonderful ladies.  Thank you for following me and being there for me.  I enjoy getting on here and seeing your sweet and uplifting comments and post.  I hope everyone has a great day!!