Im at that point

Im at that point where im so frustrated with this deployment.  I know I should be happy because we dont have to much longer, but all I can think about it how long its been since ive seen him.  I miss him so much it hurts.  I just want this over with.  We've gotten to where all we do is argue, this past week.  I hate this, I dont want to argue.  I feel like its all my fault, I feel like im the one who starts it.  I trust him, I do...and we are always gonna do something that the other doesnt like, but I just cant help but worry.  I think its just all the frustrations are really coming out and im taking it out on him and I shouldnt do that.  The thing is...I want to be honest with how I feel and if something he does bothers me, or if I dont like something I want to be honest and tell him.  When it seems like he doesnt care how I feel about it and keeps doing it, thats what irritates me.  Between that and everything else...I am at that breaking point.  I hate feeling this way.  I dont wanna push him away and I dont wanna be pushed away.  I love him so much and I cant even begin to imagine my life without him, I dont wanna ever lose him.  I guess the best thing for me to do is just keep my mouth shut and let him do whatever he wants no matter how it makes me feel, as much as I dont wanna do that I guess I need to.  We just really need to sit down and talk, that would be the best thing for us right now.  Sit down and get everything out.  I hope everything works out, I mean im sure they will because they always do...but I still worry.  I miss him so much and I just want him home.

I love you baby <3