He left this morning...for his final training before he deploys. I laid in bed last night, him asleep on my chest, crying because time is running out for us. Its partially because he is leaving, I mean this is our third deployment so I am kinda getting use to them, its because of how fast time is running out and I am stressing so hard to get some things done before he leaves.
I have applied for jobs, with no call backs. I feel like I am trying so hard...but am I? I mean if I was really trying wouldnt I have one by now? I know I cant control things, but I cant help but get discouraged by not even having anyone call me back. I want to have a job, and be able to move in a house by time he is done with this training, so I have a couple weeks. I pray everything works out and this happens before he leaves. I hate being stressed, and I try to stay positive...but this is taking its toll on me. I mean I wanted to be settled and all of that so we can also get a puppy before he leaves, but thats gonna have to happen later. I just wanted him to form a bond with it before he left and also help pick it out. But thats the least of my worries.
I applied for 2 jobs yesterday, I hope I hear back from these, gonna try to stay positive. Sorry for being a Debby Downy, but we all have our moments. Thanks for reading if you made it this far...you should get a medal or something lol. Have a great day ladies!
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Breathe, its ok. I'm here if you ever need to vent!
ReplyDeleteAnd... Rylie only bonded with Ryan for about two weeks before he went back to California. He will see her again when she is 6 months old! I worry that the two of them may miss out on the puppy/daddy bond... but they do keep you busy. And distracted. Trust me!
Deployments are so hard but the final days leading up to it are the worst! Thinking about you :)
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